The demise of the ego

During the past week, being back at work full time (which for me means four days a week) I have become at times, almost painfully aware of just how over active my mind is. By this I mean that there seems to be this endless chatter going on in the background, in the periphery of my vision, which manifests itself as a vague feeling of dissatisfaction and unease. This seems to be borne from the fact that I do not like the life I have chosen, or more accurately, that my ego does not like the life that I have chosen.

The ego though is an illusion and not who I am, it is merely the inner manifestation of all my deepest fears and loathings, about not just life, but ultimately who and what I am. It is the part of me that wishes to deny my own divinity, for to accept this will mean that I am powerful beyond measure and have no need for the pettiness that the ego becomes embroiled in. This, like the various products that we sell at work, is merely a distraction designed to detract away from the fact that I am not just unique, but also divine - for God does not rest outside of us as some obscure and judgmental man, or even woman, but lives in the heart of every single one of us. The ego uses every means at its disposal in order to deny this very important fact, and will go to almost any lengths, including killing us slowly inside, through insanity or other means (Eckhart Tolle says that the over active mind is the greatest form of insanity) in order to get us to hide from the truth.

The expensive items we sell at work are not in the scheme of life important, but are things and trappings that we surround ourselves with in order to stay trapped on the perpetual treadmill called work. We are told that we must have these things, so we go out to work in order to buy them, getting into so much debt that we have to continually work harder, and thus have no time to be still and stop thinking. I see through the trap though and choose not to have these things in my possession. I still though have to sell them at work, and this is where the challenge lies.

It occurs to me that the reason I have chosen this particular job is because of the unique challenges that it brings - in other words to be in the illusion but not be part of it. This means that I can observe from a detached perspective all the goings on and all the ego talk of my colleagues and customers - two of my colleagues in particular act like overgrown school boys, practically drooling over video games and the latest technology as if they were some prize to be cherished, and talking about beer and women in much the same vein.

Some women would be mortally offended at this talk, but not me, I just grin silently to myself and observe the silliness and almost obsessiveness of the whole thing. And yet at the same time, I have been amazed this week at just how similar in some ways we are. We were having a conversation the other day as we helped with the delivery, about women who moan about there not being any good men and how they can't maintain a relationship and how lonely they feel, and in the next breath say how they value their independence and don't want to get tied down. There is a great paradox here that the majority of these women seem unaware of. No wonder men are so confused as to what women want - how can they know after all how to treat us if we do not know ourselves how we wish to be treated.

How though do I wish to be treated - as a human being with feelings and emotions, and with the knowledge that I am not infallible and need love and nurturing as much as the next person. I also perhaps more fundamentally, wish to be treated in the same way that others would wish to be treated - with courtesy, honesty, integrity and respect.

The longing to return home

Having had five days off work, using up holidays before the end of the year, I really did not want to go back to work today. My mind had gone so peaceful and so still and so quiet, I did not want to leave that space and go back to constant background noise and distractions.

I have been thinking about why it is that I seem to have so many problems with jobs. It is as if, for as long as I can remember, each job that I have had rapidly wears thin and I just lose all interest. It is a novelty to begin with, but the rot soon sets in and I start to get resentful about the little things, until they escalate into something big. I resist moving from where I am by kidding myself that I am comfortable until eventually things get so bad that I am forced to leave in order to protect both my health and my sanity. If I still resist, the universe finds another way to oust me from that rut, either by getting me the sack, closing the store or branch that I work in, or making me redundant.

It occurred to me tonight that perhaps it is not the jobs themselves that are the problem, but rather, what they represent. Work to me is a symbol of being tied to the physical, material world, of being shackled and bound by others rules, unable to do your thing and be truly independent.

After my mother died at the end of 1999, I gave up work for a while in order to concentrate on myself. Three years later I found that I had qualified as a crystal therapist and to my surprise, started to write a book. I then developed a bad case of procrastination and fear, masquerading as writers block, and so returned to work part time. I worked initially as a temp for a company that serviced air conditioning units, and then later on for a major supermarket. After about a year of working there part time, my partner became ill and I changed my hours to full time. It was then that the problems began, and I eventually left that job in August 2005.

I then worked flat out to finish my book, doing a complete edit and rewrite in just under 5 months. The first edition was duly published in June 2006, just before I went off to Lundy for three weeks. In between promoting it and doing other forms of writing, I did occasional exam invigilating work and market research, until in November last year I got my current job.

On the surface it is everything that I need - the hours suit me, being able to work four days a week, I get free parking, thanks to an arrangement with one of the local pubs, and I get on for the most part with my colleagues, yet there is still this vague feeling of dissatisfaction, that I should be doing something different. Until I started to write my book, I did not know what that 'something different' was, but since I made this discovery, my life has taken on new purpose and new meaning. I told myself that the dissatisfaction was due to not being able to do what I really love, and yet when I do spend time at home and have the opportunity to write, I spend it doing other things instead - browsing on the Internet, going for walks and cups of tea, shopping etc.

Maybe it is not about not being able to write at all, but more to do with the fact that I do not want to work full stop, since it is a symbol for me of being tied to the physical, material world. I wish to spend time at home doing what I want and when I want, and not be tethered by company rules, time keeping and politics. What really lies behind the dissatisfaction is not any of these things, but the need to return home and the longing to transcend this physical existence and return to source, where none of these things matter and there are no rules, just life in all its glory.

From darkness to light

I feel as if I have been hibernating for six long months and am finally coming back to life. It is like I am awakening from a long and deep slumber. Some of this feeling may be attributed to the fact that we are moving from winter into spring, the clocks having moved forward by an hour here last weekend. Most of it though can be attributed to the fact that today I made some startling revelations.

This came about largely as a result of a recent reading that I had. I asked four questions - one of which concerned my colleague the waffler, who has been pressing my buttons again of late.

The reason the waffler has been undermining me in the way that he has is because I have not been sufficiently present when at work. He has said several times that he did not realise I was talking to customers when I questioned him about why he butted in, and I did not understand how he could have felt this, but now I do. When one's energy and one's heart is elsewhere, as mine has been at work, you cannot be seen and cannot be heard and cannot be acknowledged, that is why he quite literally did not see that I was there with those customers and saying those things, for the simple reason that I was not. It is astoundingly simple and obvious when I think about it, and changes will be made to rectify this, starting on Monday.

Another way of viewing things

A new energy alert has just arrived in my inbox from Karen Bishop, which when I read it just now, felt compelled to post on here, since it serves as such a potent reminder for us to stay true to our authentic selves and shows us that there may be another way of viewing things when times get tough, - with love rather than anger.

For those who have not heard of Karen's work before, she is the author and web host of 'What's up on Planet Earth'. Emails in the form of energy alerts are offered several times per month by subscribing to the site. Here then is her latest message. Make of if what you will, and keep an open mind and heart:

"Greetings!

Some incredible new openings arrived for us on April 1st. Like a huge flower opening and readying to bloom, much was revealed to us and a very new doorway opened to allow an effortless and beautiful entry into a higher vibrating reality and world of our wildest dreams.

Some are having awesome and incredible experiences, and others are feeling stagnation and heaviness. There is a key to this door to heaven, and all we need do is be willing to grasp it and open the door.

I have been telling a tale the past months or perhaps years of dimensional hierarchies. I have been telling a tale about how we would eventually arrive in a space where we would be on a new and different “other side,” spending limited but valuable time on the dimensional border, and rarely going back to the lower and denser dimensions which will be crashing as they prepare to depart. This is all finally occurring now. This scenario is most certainly here…we are smack in the middle of it now.

What is the key to the door and what are some of the manifestations of this very new arrival into the higher realms?

Manifestations: The density in the higher realms is much lighter. This means that what remains is mostly the purer forms of vibration, with much gone that was released and purged (remember 2007, the year of purging and growth?). So then, there is not nearly as much “in between” manifestations of form. When we look out through the windows of our eyes, we don’t see as much forest, as much has been cleared.

In this regard, our boundaries are now much thinner. Very commonly through the ascension process, we experience specific phases of unpleasantness relating to boundaries. These phases always occur when we have reached a new and higher vibrating plateau. We can have an experience where we feel we have been violated, intruded upon, or perhaps that we were taken advantage of for our goodness, kindness and understanding. We can feel as if someone or something has entered our private space, taken control when we have not given permission, and is doing things or vibrating in ways that make us extremely uncomfortable. An unpleasant energy seems to want to run our show without our permission. There seems to be an uninvited intruder present.

Here is what is occurring: The lower vibrating energies are in extreme fear now, as they are aware (but rarely consciously) that they are departing. They are grasping to hold onto something. They are grabbing a shore and the shore is us. We feel good to them as we vibrate higher. We are loving and understanding. Thus, they are clinging onto us in desperation, and unfortunately, our understanding nature makes us very vulnerable.

Because of the new boundary situation with less density and boundaries present, they are really in our spaces. Having this kind of lower vibrating and very fearful and extreme energy within our spaces can feel scary, out of control, and even create panic and anxiety. The antidote can be simple ….we need to show love to these energies while we most assuredly refuse to allow these energies to continue their dance. We need to extricate ourselves from them, as they will most certainly pull us down into their space.

We can love them, but we need not spend all our time with them. Being firm while moving on is the best scenario here. But there is yet another piece. Compassion is a higher vibrating energy, but love vibrates even higher. When we are in compassion, we are taking on the energy of that which we are feeling compassion for. This pulls us down. In addition, there is no compassion on the other side as there is no suffering. Deep caring can be awesome, but too much of it can allow us to give ourselves away. Love is pure and simple. We love but do not own or relate anymore to the energies of which we are no longer in alignment with. Love and limited caring until we are able to be only in pure love is perhaps the best scenario in dealing with these energies.

Love and move on. Understand and care briefly, and move on. And when we are in the spaces of these lower vibrating energies, vibrating love to them will keep our own vibrations high while allowing us to reside in these spaces of dimensional divide for a limited time.

As the doors have finally flown open for our new residency in a higher realms reality, staying back with these fearful energies will only serve to pull us down, delay our arrival, and devalue ourselves as well. We have most certainly earned this new chapter, or new book of the life of our wildest dreams, and putting ourselves first will guarantee our arrival with complete certainty.

Is this being selfish? One of the “keys of being” that is included in Stepping Into the New Reality (yes, finally out soon for those of you who may be interested!) is that we have to put ourselves first. We can’t pour water from an empty pitcher. This way of being also keeps our vibration high as well.

What about service? Yes, very important here in regard to the dimensional hierarchies. Non-physical beings don’t spend a lot of time in our dimension, even though they can be great advisors and love us dearly. They do not spend much time in our dimension because they cannot. Higher and lower vibrating energies cannot exist in the same space for long periods of time.

We can always go lower, but we cannot go higher until we are matching that higher vibration within ourselves. We are now being asked to go higher and stay there as we are now vibrating higher. When we drop down to assist those vibrating lower, at the space of the dimensional boundary, we can only stay there for limited times of service, vibrating love and assistance through our store-fronts, and then we must go back home.

And any lower than the dimensional divide is the old world. The old world is falling fast now. Here in the US, the economy is crashing, as the old world is experiencing a need to turn inside out while its value system is re-structuring. Staying out of the old world is a necessity now, as we do not want to go down with the ship.

The key to the other side?

Letting go of the burdens and responsibilities that are not ours. Letting go of the illusional “have to’s.” No longer being there for others. Allowing the energies and journeys of others to be their own. Focusing on where we are now vibrating, or the higher realms, and really seeing where we actually are instead of focusing on what is falling away. The higher realms is right in front of us and many times we do not even notice. Not taking on the energies of others, not doing it all, and not feeling responsible for the whole of the planet, as the planet is right where it needs to be.

Lots of “nots” here! How about this more higher vibrating version instead: Following our bliss. Allowing ourselves to put ourselves first. Owning our own journey. Staying true to our pure and authentic selves. Being in our own space. Supporting ourselves as this supports the whole as well. And letting go of the burdens.

The theme here is responsibility. Many may need to let go of being over-responsible, but there are others who will need to become more responsible for themselves. Either way, there is an imbalance.

Once we let go and extricate ourselves from the energies of others we will be catapulted like magic into a very new reality. I can assure you, your life will turn into the life of your wildest dreams.

“Well, this doesn’t make much sense Karen,” you might be thinking. “After all, you have been saying for weeks and weeks that we were ‘waiting” for everyone else to catch up!”

We have most certainly been transmuting the energies for the whole. This has been a role of each and every lightworker indeed. And yes, we have been “waiting” for this new opening to occur as we wanted as many people on board as possible.

The transmuting and waiting are what was needed to create the critical mass of energy required to blast through to the other side. The mission has now been accomplished. Life on “the other side” is very different from life in the old world. We no longer transmute or wait for others to catch up, as we are all here right now. Being in our integrity, being true to ourselves, vibrating as high as possible while interacting with others who are doing the same is the way here. Equal contributions are the way as well. This supports the whole.

So then, equal contributions of our gifts and talents, or our true and authentic selves, requires a balance of responsibility…we cannot give too much and we cannot take too much either. Being who we are is the key. When we are all simply being who we are, in our integrity, then we naturally support each other.

We are all integral pieces of the whole, and now that we are vibrating higher and higher, we will begin to congeal in small like minded communities which will be separate from what is falling. We will begin supporting ourselves and no longer relying on support from the old outside world of the masses.

And as more and more individuals residing in the old world begin to be willing to let go and change, we will have the opportunity to assist them in getting to where we are through our store-fronts and our service which will exist on the dimensional border.

At times I receive correspondences from readers who vehemently object to portions of my writings. There is much room in these energy alerts for mis-interpretation. I am unable to go into great detail about each concept, and this can cause mis-interpretations. In addition, we are all vibrating at different levels and see through different filters as well.

So please know that some of this material may seem “off” to some of you without the luxury of a long winded explanation. In the new Stepping Into the New Reality program, there will be an opportunity to ask questions to gain clarity. The books and programs are much more in-depth as well. The energy alerts are meant to bring validation to our experiences and to assist in clarifying this sometimes strange and confusing experience of ascension. Many of us are tired as well and don’t wish to wade through a long winded energy alert several times per month.

My hope and desire is that the brevity of these messages serves to assist and support, and not to confuse. If we never read or attempted to learn one thing in this world, we would all be fine… because very simply, we are always right where we need to be. Enjoying our lives each and every day, being present in them, accepting that we are here having an experience called life, and enjoying the simplicity of each and every moment is all that is ever needed anyway.

We have everything we need right now. We are alive. We have a new opportunity each and every day to create fresh and new. There is much to be grateful for in the simplicity of each moment. We really don’t need to be anywhere else or even know anything!
http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm

Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times...

Until next time,

Karen"