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Monday, 30 September 2013

Until next time ...

Following the events of earlier last week, I have naturally been feeling tearful and emotional, after all no one likes to feel threatened even if that wasn't the intention. It goes without saying that the resident in question forgot the whole incident almost as soon as it happened, and I only wish it were that easy for me. Almost a week has gone by now, and I have only just let go of the anger, thanks to a day off and some healing.

The fact that I was the only housekeeper in all weekend did not exactly help. It is difficult enough to all the cleaning and laundry on my own, but when you add to the mix a washing machine whose door refused to budge and a tumble dryer that seemed to stop whenever it felt like it, it was not a good few days. Of course I reported these problems, but nothing was done. Same old. That though was then and this is now.

What is happening now is that I sitting at home writing this blog after taken the day off - a day of which I might add was very much needed. I got up as usual intending to go to work, but Coran had had a bad night with acid reflux and breathing problems. She was in no fit state to drive, so I had to take her to the doctors surgery. They said that they needed to do a breath test in order to test for the bacteria that causes stomach ulcers, and by the time we got back home it was midday. The waves of tiredness just washed over me, and I knew that it was futile by then going to work, as I would not be productive and would only be there for a few hours anyway, so I rang and told them that I would definitely not be coming in. In the meantime, I tried not to feel guilty.

While we were waiting for the appointment though I finally managed to get through to the Union and this time they phoned me back, just after 11am. The man I spoke to listened and while he empathised with what I had to say, said that there was very little I could do, as the law had recently been changed so that you can no longer sue to almost anything until you have been in a job for two years. In other words, they can do pretty much what they want and get away with it until that point. The thing to do then is to make a note of everything that happens - names, times, what was said, who was present and so on, and then email it to yourself thereby establishing the date and time that it was sent. This is not really a solution, but seems for the moment at least all I can really do.

I do wonder though how much of this is me. There is no denying that I do take things very much to heart and seen through other peoples' eyes, have a tendency to over react. I is almost as if I have a need to be right and prove others wrong. Of course the reason I am like this is because so much of the time bosses seem to have told me the opposite - that they are right and I therefore must be wrong. The subtle message that this contains is of course that I have no rights, and this is the thing more than anything that it so hard to take.

I also though understand and have to accept responsibility for my part in much of this - I should not have reacted in the way that I did, that is a fact and a truth and cannot be changed. Stress has a habit of creeping up on you, it becomes such a normal part of your life to live with that you get to the point that do not realise it is a problem at all, until you have a situation like this and instinct and pain body take over with the inevitable results. I have to then learn ways to manage and recognise the stress so that it does not become a problem. Hopefully my forthcoming nine days off (and five days in Iceland) will help, as it will enable me to take a step back and see things from a different perspective, until the next drama arises ...  

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