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Monday, 4 March 2013

A Lundy diary - and what follows ....

The posts that follow on from this are my diary of  the past 11 nights on the beautiful and bountiful island of Lundy in the Bristol Channel, which those who know me both on the Internet and in real life will know I like to visit at least once each year. The visits have been a bit less frequent since my "mid life crisis" in 2009, when I lost my job in less than ideal circumstances, and in a fit of madness perhaps, applied for a seasonal position on the island. That though is all water under the bridge, as I have moved on considerably since then. So it seems has the island.

I returned then to the mainland on the 2nd helicopter of the day on Friday 1st March after an eventful if somewhat chilly 11 nights, with one night either end in Barnstaple and Taunton respectively. As I was on an early helicopter, I decided to go into Bideford for fish and chips, where I shared a table with the Uncle of the Island Manager's former wife (she sadly died around 8 years ago). It was interesting then to reminisce about past times and past lives in this way.

After a nice lunch it was back on the road to Taunton and the Premier Inn near Ruishton where I spent the night. It was not perhaps the best hotel I have stayed in, but it certainly was not the worst. The following morning it was a nice long lie in before going back to the big Sainsburys at Taunton for a meat free breakfast and a big mug of tea and back home via the M3 and A303. I was home by around 2.30pm and then it was the usual round of washing clothes and unpacking etc.

Now I am back the island as always feels a million miles away, which in some ways it is. The way of life is as different and remote from mainland and indeed mainstream living as you could find. That is what makes it though more of a fantasy for me at least than reality, for nice as it is, one has to come home and back to reality or some stage. Lundy as in all holidays can only ever be a respite. A very nice one at that.

The letter to my ex boss is finally complete and hopefully put to bed, like the island herself at least, for the next five months. On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about the old job again, and I realised that there has been a fundamental shift these past two weeks, in that I have finally accepted that that chapter of my life is over. It was until now that I was able to accept and acknowledge that that is what has been going on - it was not about the anger or any of that, but about me not accepting that I had made the choice to leave. In the end though there was no choice to make, it was my sanity or my job, and faced with a choice like that, there is no choice at all. I wanted to blame others though for that choice, so that I did not have to take responsibility, and now that I have I am also free to accept, truly accept the new job and the fact that things have changed.

While I was away, at least 2 of the residents said they had missed me, and, my uniform finally arrived, so at long last I really do feel part of the team. Things then are looking up nicely at long last.        

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