Tuesday 19th February

This is the first time for a while, several years in fact that I have stayed on Lundy for this long. The last time I was here for 2 weeks was in August 2009, that fateful year that I almost ended up working here. I can see now what a mistake that would have been, yet I learnt a lot from the process. Anyway, I shall be back here again after a four year absence for 2 weeks in the summer.

When I decided to book this trip I was stressed out from work at the nursing home where I used to work, but several months on, having left that place and stated again elsewhere, the stress is finally beginning to lift. At least I thought it was, but when I got to the Premier Inn in Barnstaple on Sunday where I spent the night, I realised that really and truly I am yet to let that place go. I think it comes from the resistance of still seeing all the good things but not the bad, and while it is true that there were a lot of good things about working there, in the end those few very big bad things outweighed it all. There is still though a part of me that did not want to leave and still wishes that I had not, and that is the part that I need to work for the next 12 nights until I return home.

The journey down to Barnstaple was then uneventful. It took around four and a half hours after a short stop at Countess Services for tea, and a shorter one at Taunton Deane to let it back out again! I arrived at the hotel around 5.45pm and after getting into the room (why do they always put single women on the second floor when there are no lifts), phoned Coran to let her know that I had arrived safely. Then it was the sweet and crunchy salad that I had brought with me with a pack of green olives and a bag of crisps followed by a nice hot bath, a cup of coffee and the latest episode of Call the Midwife, before settling down to read my Icelandic book for an hour before bed.

I wish I could say that I had a good night’s sleep, but sadly as has lately been the case, I was tossing and turning for what seemed like half the night. Still I knew that I would make up for it once I got to the island, and sure enough I did. After a late arrival (I was on helicopter no. 10) and queuing for nearly 45 minutes for coffee at the Hartland Cafe (sadly I am not kidding), I finally got here just before 2pm, where I galloped down the usual jacket spud before heading off to the cottage to drop off my bags and then back out again to the shop. By the time I got in I was cream crackered, so I lay down to snooze for an hour until the rest of my bags arrived, and then reluctantly got up to unpack and make yet more coffee before heading back to bed to read.

A quick supper around 6.30pm of half a wheat free baguette with quorn ham and a large salad, followed by a mug of warm vegetable stock helped me to sleep later on. It was lights out at 9pm having finished the Icelandic book, and the best night’s sleep I have had for at least the last few weeks. When I emerged from the shower an hour or so later, the mist had descended, so I donned all of my warm clothes wondering what to do with the day, before settling down to write this.

I was in two minds whether to bring this netbook or not, but actually now I am sitting here writing,  I am glad that I did. When I look back on my writing in recent years I can see that it has changed, whereby I am no longer writing from what Brandon Bays would describe as “story”, in other words I concentrate less on what actually occurs and more on how it makes me feel, writing from an almost detached perspective. This is good as it shows that I have done real work and made some real changes to the way that I view life. On that note though, the mist has lifted, the clouds have sadly descended, but this is Lundy the first proper day of my holiday, so I am going to go out there and explore.