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Monday, 14 July 2008

Wish me luck!

It has been a week now since I got back from Lundy, and somehow I have not felt like blogging at all. Neither can I be bothered to keep looking to see what is happening in the book world, the impetus to do these things just seems to have gone. It just doesn't seem important.

For the first two days after I got back, it felt like I was on cloud nine. I was bursting with energy and confidence, and got some really good sales at work. Then Wednesday came, and with it my day off, and something seemed to shift. It seemed like there was so much to do - go the gym, get the food shopping, go to Edenbridge to get the books that my friend Sue had not sold at the Winchester Book Festival. It was chucking down with rain as well which didn't help. I found myself loitering on the computer just to fill in the time, and using it as a distraction, which is a bad habit of mine, and one that I need to break.

When I went back to work on Thursday then the sense of melancholy and disquiet had returned with a vengeance, and most of my get up and go had well, got up and gone. On Friday I was booked to go to a quarterly training event. This was kind of like a roadshow/training day with different suppliers. Staff were split into teams of 4, where they went around the different stands learning about the products and being tested on what they have learnt, with prizes for the best teams and the most interactive individuals.

It was a fun day I suppose, but also a bit overwhelming, as there were over 400 of us there, with 14 stands for us to get through (I was paired with three members of staff from a nearby superstore). I learnt a lot and met some interesting people, but it seemed very rushed, and they insisted on playing this excruciatingly loud music as we rushed between stands. My team did not win anything, but on a personal level, I did win some gift vouchers for use online.

The other thing that happened on Thursday, which I admit has knocked me for six, and made me think, is the fact that the waffler has got another job, and will be leaving us in 2 weeks. I am glad in many ways that he is, especially after today, when he once again took one of my sales, having butted in during my conversation with the customer and stolen them away, but in some ways it is not good at all. It will be very difficult if not impossible to find a replacement with the closure looming over us, the date for which has still not been announced, and so this means that the two Managers and I will have to struggle on as a team of three during the shut down phase, with on days off, just 2 members of staff and half hour lunch breaks, being unable to get out of the store and look for another job during this critical phase.

I am then feeling mighty peed off, as his announcement has really brought home the reality of the situation I was facing. Looking at it philosophically though, I have learnt a lot from being here on a personal level, so maybe it is time for me to move on. Perhaps I was only supposed to be here for a short period of time to learn what I needed to learn, and so that some of my energy and some of my wisdom could rub off on my colleagues. My Manager and I have had some interesting chats lately, where I have realised just how similar our views are on so many things. I am sure I do not remember him being like this when I started in this job 8 months ago, but then again, a situation like this does make you stop and take stock of your life and think about many things on a deeper level.

It is difficult though not to get peed off when the lease for your store runs out in less than 2 weeks, and your company have still not told you anything about the hell is going on other than the fact that the landlord is waiting for someone else to sign it. It feels like my last job all over again, and don't whatever to you get me started on that!

That is where I am then today. The other thing that I must mention, which I am very excited about, is that at lunch time today (and that is the other thing that pees me off about the waffler - he takes his lunch at 1pm every day, meaning that I have to either go early at 12 noon when I am not hungry, or inevitably wait until 2pm, or even later to get mine, by which time I am starving), I had the strangest feeling that I needed to go to Waterstones. So I trotted up there, not really knowing why, as I had no intention of buying books, only to see a sign in the window, full time book seller wanted. My evenings task then is to fill in my application form and take it back tomorrow.

How wonderful that would be from both an authors and book lovers point of view, to work for Britain's largest and most influential book seller. Wish me luck !

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