Mole Valley District Council have voted unanimously to change the name of Dorking following an important discovery late last year. This is the first time since the compilation of the Doomsday Book in 1066 that the name of a Surrey town has been changed from its original nomenclature. A spokesperson for the Council said that they were very excited at this move, as it marks as decisive turning point in the town's history. He also said that the change would be relatively easy to implement, with the minimum of inconvenience for residents and businesses alike, since there is only one letter in the town's name to be altered.
The Council came to this decision after a team of archaeologists, headed by Professor Andrew S Winehouse from the University of Surrey, unearthed the remains of a prehistoric civilisation of scrofa domestica (otherwise known as wild boar) on the outskirts of the town. The remains, which were dated to approximately 2000 BCE, include fragments of teeth and jaw bones with several intact skeletons of both male and female animals.
Following this decision, I can exclusively reveal that the Council have also unveiled plans to replace the current sculpture of the cockerel at the roundabout near the Council offices at Pippbrook in honour of the town's earliest inhabitants. The new sculpture is due to be unveiled at the beginning of April. Attached is an artist's impression.
The Council will write to everyone in due course advising them to change the D to a P ...
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