Dreams of dialysis

Last night I had some intensely vivid dreams about various forms of medical treatment that I appeared to be undertaking - the most vivid of which was dialysis. With my limited medical knowledge I understand that the kidneys are responsible for keeping the body free of all the substances (waste products) that it no longer needs, and so it occurred to me that this dream must too have been some kind of purge to get rid of all that I no longer need. I have after all been asking for some time that this occurs.

I thought though I would take a look at my favourite mind body medicine guide, the wonderful "Your Body Speaks Your Mind" by Deb Shapiro and copy here what it is I found. My own words have been added in bold:

"You have two kidneys and two adrenal glands that sit on top of them. The job of the kidneys is to maintain a balance of water (emotion) and minerals and the acid/alkali content in the blood, and to act as a filter for unwanted substances by determining what is good and helpful versus what is toxic or damaging.

This is an essential balancing of opposites symbolized by the two kidneys in relation to each other. Issues here are especially connected with relationship, whether imbalances in your relationship with others - particularly with your primary partner - or imbalances of the masculine and feminine energies within yourself.

The kidneys are involved in the production of red blood cells, indicative of their involvement in generating love throughout your being. Yet, they are also about release and letting go, especially of negative feelings, and this is most obvious at times of relationship breakdown. Such a separation causes an imbalance as well as a surplus of negative and insecure feelings.

At times of kidney difficulties it is essential to find ways to release feelings, even if it means hitting a pillow. By letting the negative go the flow of love can be resumed.

In Chinese medicine the kidneys are known as the seat of fear, mainly because the adrenal glands release adrenaline into the body in response to excitement, anger, panic and stress. The kidneys respond to fear, to unexpressed grief and loss. Fear motivates action or immobilizes you into inaction. This is seen in the important connection between the kidneys and the joints. Just as the joints give you the ability to express yourself, so the kidneys let go of that which is no longer needed. Uric acid is normally excreted by the kidneys, but if it is not released it can build up in the joints, as is the case with gout, which causes painful swelling and immobility. Gout particularly affects the toes, implying deep fears about what lies ahead."

This is then interesting reading, and seems to confirm that my initial analysis of this dreams is correct, that it is indeed about letting go. What Deb has to say about fear though also rings true - and particularly about relationship breakdown. The most important relationship with another in my life is of course the one I have with Coran, and there is no problem there, but the second most important one after that has to be, you guessed it, my job, and that is most definitely breaking down as I prepare to leave. As I was writing just the other day, I have in fact been resisting this tooth and nail, and refusing to believe that it was even happening at all, but I can no longer deny the fact this it is. It seems then that my own subconscious had found a way during the dream state for me to start the process of finally letting it all go, and for that I am grateful, as I know several people with gout, and I most definitely do not want to develop this!

So, in the meantime, where's that pillow?