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Wednesday, 22 July 2009

I made it through the rain

The New Moon in Cancer this morning with the Solar Eclipse visible only from Southeast Asia may explain a bit of how I have been feeling this week. As someone who is naturally quite sensitive to these different energies (becoming more sensitive as time goes on), and someone who was also born under the sign of Cancer and so is attuned to the Moon, this is to be expected.

As a water sign Cancer is strongly connected to the emotions. When we think of the crab, we see the hard horny exterior which protects the soft and vulnerable body - which pretty much sums me up. Most of the time, when I am not at home I hide behind a suit of protective body armour which is designed (but never quite succeeds) to protect me from life's knocks - I have had more than my share this year.

The New Moon and the Solar Eclipse signify as time of inner change and transformation (what's new). This particular New Moon, so my friend Sarah Jane Grace says, marks a turning point within each of us to face our vulnerabilities and fears, and to breathe deeply into them as we acknowledge that it is often these fears that are the true source of our strength and resolve. You can say that again! None of us are infallible, but that is what makes us human. We have a choice whether we like to admit it or not whether to weather the storms or find the strength to work through these fears.

The New Moon offers the chance to do this, but also the opportunity to honour ourselves and all our strengths and gifts - and vulnerability can and is a gift, for it makes us stronger rather than weaker. We all have this soft and vulnerable side, and if we choose to work with it, then the butterfly within will blossom and burst through the chrysalis (which is highly appropriate given the title of this blog). It feels to me as if my own butterfly is coming to the end of a particularly long gestation.

So, today it is no accident that I am off to Ilfracombe for three days. Then on Saturday I sail back to my beloved island of Lundy. How will I feel given what happened a few short months ago, when I get there? Will the island have changed, or is to me who has really changed? I think the answer to that is most definitely the latter. It is I who have changed this year, changed considerably from the person I was when I left my old job behind. The experience was and sometimes still is painful, when I think back to the events that took place, so I try not to think too much, but rather, to remind myself of the learning that has taken place, which has been considerable. As Barry Manilow once said, I made it through the rain. Let's hope it stays away for the next couple of weeks so I can get the well earned rest and recuperation that I need.

I will be back on August 8th, so until then ...

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