Nimbies gone mad

There seems to be an extraordinary amount of fear and unrest around at the moment, which is reflected in everything around me; every time I open a newspaper or switch on the radio it seems to be nothing but bad news, so much so that it cannot help but rub off on one. The girls at work all seem tired and worn out, and this too reflects my own state of health. My body, but most of all my mind, is crying out for a rest, for a time of no responsibilities where I can be and do exactly what I want, beholden to no one.

I seem to be experiencing problems with a few work related issues right now, both directly and indirectly. Of course it is nothing to do with the people that bring these things to my attention, but all about me. The other week I got rather upset when I convinced myself that two Eastern Europeans at work were talking about me. Whether they were or not my reaction was out of proportion to what had occurred. Afterwards I realised that it was helping me to clear issues surrounding previous jobs, some of which I have spoken about on here. Namely the fact that I lost my first few jobs due to no fault of my own other than choosing unscrupulous employers who used the law to their advantage and not my own, and also the fact that I was young and naive and did not have the confidence to stand up to them and question what they were doing. How times change!

This incident made me realise how insecure I am, that every time the boss asks to speak to me, or one of the other girls tries to show me a different way to do things, my heart lurches and I feel I am being told very subtly that I am doing things wrong, and that my way is not good enough. Of course most of this is nonsense; they are only trying to help, but my ego and my pain body do not see it like this, not until after the event. When I am faced with situations like this I need to find a way to put the pain body to one side, which is easier said than done.

There have also been a few issues surrounding parking. We have our own car park at work, but in the evenings and at the weekends when I work, it is often full with visitors cars, and several times I have been blocked in, resulting in me being late out from work. So, I started parking on the road instead.

Last week someone left a note on my windscreen to say that by parking where I had, I was forcing other motorists to drive on the wrong side of the road, and did I want to be responsible for an accident? Well, no I didn't, not that I necessarily would be, for if there was one, then it would also be due to the speed at which the other cars were travelling and not all down to me. The note suggested that I park around the corner in a road which is opposite the nursing home where I work and so I started to do this. This is a dead end road, one end of which where I park, backs on to the gardens of the houses in the road I had previously parked in. There are no houses along this part of the road, and no yellow lines, neither it is a private road, yet this morning a couple came to the home complaining about my car being there and saying it was causing an obstruction! I failed to see how, but did not want to cause problems for them or for the home, and so agreed that I would use the car park from now on.

It is a posh area with huge houses owned by those who evidently have more money that I do, who would never demean themselves by cleaning their own toilets never mind anyone else's. There is no legal reason why I cannot park in their road, but they have decided that they do not want my or anyone else's car in a place where they consider it shouldn't be. Nimbies gone mad!

It just seems that whatever I do I can't win. I park in one place and am told to move my car to another road. When I do this I am told off again. And then to make matters worse I cut my thumb on some broken glass in the bottom of the dishwasher. All in all I will be thoroughly glad at 2pm on Tuesday when I finish work for 2 1/2 weeks. I shall be even gladder on Wednesday morning when I get into that car and head for Ilfracombe.