The new Genesis of Man

I watch my mind at work sometimes, and can almost laugh at the stupidity of it all. The mind does its best to tick away with all the 'it's not fair', 'I can't stand this job', 'I wish they would hurry up and shut this store down!' (there have been plenty of the last two of late), but none of it is real, and none of it really matters.

I won't deny that this job has been challenging in lots of different ways, but still I recognise that I did choose to be here (quite literally, as within two days of being offered it, I was also offered and turned down, interviews at least for two other jobs). Somewhere, on some level, it was as if I knew that I had to see this through. The logical part of me was screaming on my first day that this was not right, that I would not be happy here, that I was not interested in what we sell, but I knew that I had to see it through, and so I have, regardless of the challenges and the tests, and there have been lots of them - the late lunches, the heavy lifting (some of the larger items are almost as big as I am), the constant noise bombardment, being the only female (living with my partner, who is a cross dresser and borderline transsexual, I am not used to being around "typical" males).

I get round the noise bit by shutting myself in the ladies loo at regular intervals, and by sitting in silence at lunch time, I get round the lack of interest by trying to learn, and I get round the lifting bit with hot baths and massages. As for the masculine bit, I have discovered that you cannot judge a book by its cover, as my Manager, who looks every bit the stereotypical male, with his deep voice, big muscles and bald head, is actually a pussy cat in disguise. I don't think he realises this himself, but he is actually a very sensitive and deeply spiritual man. It is the fact that he does not know this that makes him so spiritual, and also his many years of management.

You cannot be a Manager in retail after all, without knowing a thing or two about human nature, and what makes people tick. If I am honest, I do not care much for what I see of the nature of our typical customer - especially the young ones, who seem more concerned with how things look and how much they cost than whether or not they actually work and do a good job. My Manager said the same thing, when we were talking last week.

Reading some more of Eckhart Tolle's wonderful book 'A New Earth', he says that "Unhappiness or negativity is a disease on our planet. What pollution is on the outer level is negativity on the inner level". When I watch my mind and observe the unconscious behaviour of others, I know that he is right. It is a disease indeed, and the biggest threat facing our planet. The problems we face are spiritual, not political, for if we could really look inside and consciously examine our thoughts and our motivations, then we would see the madness that we are living in that is created by our minds, and we would bring ourselves into the present moment, making conscious efforts to change. This would be the new Genesis of Man.

All the problems that we face, famine, war, intolerance, etc, etc, are all caused by what we perceive as lack, and if you go deeper still, then you realise that ultimately the solution lies not in filling the void with unnecessary stuff, and not in worrying our lives away about what we should have and do not have, but in accepting the situation that we have and fully embracing the now. Now is after all the only moment that we have. The past is over so cannot affect us, the future is yet to happen, so the only moment is now, we should strive to grasp that moment and live life to the full, as that one moment goes on forever into infinity.

When Jesus said that those who followed him would be reborn to eternal life, this is what he meant, that if his teachings were followed and understood, then we could learn to live in the present moment, which is eternal and everlasting. We would therefore be literally reborn to eternal life. What an interesting discussion that could make with some Christians that I know - and as I write this I am aware that the mind is there again, wanting me to be right, so that they are then wrong. There is no right and wrong, it is all just differing opinions. The problem begins when those differing beliefs are made 'exclusive', and when we confuse our beliefs with who we are, so that others of differing opinions are wrong. This unfortunately, is something that we all do, and I am no exception to this, I realised this when I watched myself becoming angry last night, as I watched a programme on fundamentalist Christians in Britain.

No matter how many different forms life takes, no matter how many dramas we create to fill the 'time', bodies, egos, events, situations, thoughts, emotions, desires, fears and so on, it is all fleeting and none of it has any more meaning than that which we choose to give it. Another second passes and we think another thought, dream another dream, and so it goes on, until the world is filled with dreams, we have dreamt our lives away, and nothing has been accomplished.

Work I have then discovered, is the perfect and yet most challenging place to play this scenario out - exhausting though it sometimes is, both physically and emotionally. I did choose this path though, and so I will continue to follow it for as long as the universe deems that I need to be here. My ego can still hope though that it won't be for too long!

Did George Lucas read Genesis of Man?

I knew that the new Indiana Jones film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would be important, as it was so much anticipated, but having seen the film on Thursday (the opening night), I was struck by just how similar much of the plot line is to my own book. It could almost be a mirror for what I have written, so much so that I felt compelled to write an article detailing the similarities.

I cannot deny that the resurgence in skulls that the release of this film has spawned has helped sales considerably. I have a long association with crystal skulls, having been first introduced to them back in 1999, shortly before my mother died. A few days after she died, I attended a workshop with Edwin Courtenay (having booked my place some weeks before), and it was here that I purchased my first skull Daniel, made from blue obsidian. In the weeks that followed, it seemed that almost everyone I encountered was somehow involved with the skulls, either working with them or selling them. The universe was clearly trying to tell me something, but at the time, I was not quite ready to listen.

My working life has always created drama, with various jobs, none of which have truly made me happy. Following my mother's death and a small inheritance, I decided to take time out to figure out where I was heading. I have long been interested in complimentary health, and was already a qualified massage and Reiki practitioner, so one of the first things I did was enrol on a course in crystal therapy. Halfway through the course, we were asked to write a thesis on a crystal related subject to be presented to the rest of the group. I chose to do mine on crystal skulls. The more I began to write and research, the more links I began to find between the skulls and other areas of interest, until it became clear that this was to be a book, linking all the different subjects together. I never did end up practising crystal therapy, and I believe now that the only reason I did that course was so that I could write the book.

I kept on writing, on and off for five long years, all the time trying and hoping for that elusive publishing contract. After two years I returned to work with a major supermarket, and during this time I wrote only sporadically. When my partner became seriously ill with IBS, I changed my hours to full time, as he was unable to work. As he began to get better, I began to feel the stress, eventually leaving that job in August 2005. I then worked flat out, doing a complete edit and re-write in less than five months, and finally published the completed book, Genesis of Man in June 2006.

A second edition followed eleven months later, with a new cover, added text and the same ISBN. I soon discovered that the publishing world presented challenges all of its own.

The release of this film, and the resurgence of interest in skulls has then for me been more than welcome, as it has also led to interest in my book. The question though is ...

Did George Lucas read Genesis of Man?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been hailed as the most anticipated film of summer 2008, but can it live up to the hype? It has been 19 years since we last saw Indy, and the film has been a long time in the making.

As a crystal skull guardian, and author, whose book began life as a thesis on crystal skulls, I wanted to see this film as soon as possible. I was not disappointed. While there is a lot that was left out, the important seeds are all there, pointing us in the right direction, as Jesus said, “for those who have ears that listen and eyes that see”.

The more I began to watch, the more similarities I saw between my book, Genesis of Man, and this film. So much so that I began to wonder if George Lucas or perhaps Steven Spielberg himself may have read it.

The main themes are all there – not least of all the skulls themselves. Lost civilisations, alien contact, intrigue, abuse of power, the opposing forces of light and dark, and how in the end, neither triumphs, but instead they cancel each other out.

Many believe that the crystal skulls are Atlantean in origin, but the film indicates that they are extra terrestrial. This may be disappointing to some but is closer to the truth than we realise, for the Atlanteans themselves had extra terrestrial ancestors. Only man could be arrogant enough to believe that we are truly alone in the universe, using this as comfort blanket to maintain the status quo, and the ego.

The ego has a vested interest in maintaining this belief, since if we realise that we are not alone, and are connected to not just each other but also other life forms then it has to cooperate and stop creating drama as a means to incite conflict. The irony is that it is through drama and conflict that we grow and learn who we are. We cannot experience what we are until we have experienced what we are not, as there is nothing to compare against.

Against this backdrop of spirituality are the usual thrills and spills, high jinks and capers with Indy on top form. The setting for the film has moved on by 19 years, as has Harrison Ford, the actor who plays our hero. This gives the film a more realistic feel, although I doubt if many almost pensioners could pull off the stunts that this man did. Ford faced a gruelling schedule to get in shape for this movie, training for up to 3 hours a day.

The film is set in 1957, 10 years after Roswell. The opening scene is of a group of teenagers who are racing a convoy of soldiers travelling to a top secret base in the Nevada desert (assumed to be Area 51). This scene is reminiscent of Lucas’ first major success, American Graffiti and is indicative of how we are the sum of all of our experiences. This theme is echoed in the skulls themselves, which are believed by some to contain a record of all that has occurred in Earth’s history.

The soldiers we realise are not American, but Russian. In the boot of one of their vehicles is Indy with his companion Mac, played by Ray Winstone. The Russians, led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), are seeking a top secret box containing alien remains from Roswell. Irina like Hitler is a collector of psychic artifacts, believing their power will help to accelerate her own.

Following the discovery that his colleague Mac is a double agent, Indy reluctantly leads the Russians to the box. When the box, stamped Roswell 1947 is prized open, we see a grizzly alien looking hand stretching forth.

After his escape, Indy returns to Marshall College, where his Dean, played by Jim Broadbent, explains that Indy’s association with Mac has made him the object of suspicion and the college are suspending Indy from his post. On his way out of town, Indy is approached by rebellious teenager Mutt (Shia LaBeouf), who claims to be friends with Oxley, an old colleague of Indy’s, whom the Russians have kidnapped.

It seems that Oxley had been looking for the legendary crystal skull at the centre of the Akator mystery, with the intent of returning it to its rightful place within the temple. Akator is synonymous with the legendary El Dorado, the city made from gold which was sought by the Spanish Conquistadors. The Russians have kidnapped Oxley hoping that he will lead them to the skull.

Indy and Mutt travel to Peru, where they find the remains of the missing Conquistador's wrapped in shrouds. It is here that they find the crystal skull, in one of the shrouds.

The Russians though are hot on their tail. Indy and Mutt are captured and transported to the Russians encampment where both Oxley and Mary (Indy’s old flame Marion Redwood and Mutt’s mother) are being held. We learn later that Indy is Mutt’s father. The Russians have done something to Oxley, as he appears to have lost his mind, making strange utterances that they hope will lead them to the skull.

The Russians hook Indy up to a psychic device and force him to gaze into the eyes of the skull in the hope that he will then be able to interpret Oxley’s mutterings. A series of spectacular chases then ensue, as Indy attempts an escape. Oxley guides Indy and his group to Akator, where they are met by hostile Natives. When Oxley shows the Natives the crystal skull, they bow down in veneration and allow the group to pass.

Inside the temple, they are greeted by a spectacular sight of thirteen clear quartz skeletons, one of which is missing its skull. The implication is that these are crystalline skeletons from star beings which seeded the Akatorian civilisation, as the shape of the skull closely matches those in depictions of the Mesoamerican gods. These appear to be the same beings that crash landed at Roswell in 1947.

As the skull is put back into place, the skeletons activate and the room starts to spin. Irina stands in the centre of the room and commands that the skulls download all their information into her. As the room begins to spin, so does she, eventually combusting as her limited form cannot contain such vast knowledge and power. The darkness in her has been neutralised by the skulls light.

Indy and friends make their escape, and the closing scene is of Indy and Marion’s wedding.

I first became interested in crystal skulls in 1999, and rapidly acquired several of these fascinating objects. In 2000 I enrolled on a course in crystal therapy. Halfway through the course, we were asked to write a thesis on a crystal related subject. I chose to write mine on crystal skulls. I kept on writing, and found to my amazement that it was developing into a book, which I published in June 2006.

The book includes information on lots of different subjects, not just crystal skulls, with a whole section on Atlantis and Lemuria, from where I believe the skulls originate.

Lemuria was the first advanced civilisation upon the Earth, founded almost 1 million years ago. The skulls were gifted to the Lemurians by the Divine to act as a sentient repository of information and knowledge.The early Lemurians lived beneath the Earth in underground cities and caves. As time went on, the Lemurians formed various colonies, or daughter Empires, including amongst others, Atlantis, Egypt, Mexico and Peru. Of all of these, Atlantis played the most pivotal role in Earth’s history.

Independent archaeologist David Hatcher Childress states that Akakor (note the slightly different spelling) was an ancient South American Empire near Machu Picchu, Peru, whose inhabitants also lived beneath the Earth. The Akakorians were said to be a super race similar to the Atlanteans.

In March 1972 German archaeologist Karl Bruggar met an Indian chieftain named Tatunca Nara, who told him the history of Akakor. This began in the year zero, (10,481 BCE in our calendar). Tatunca told Bruggar that his tribe, the Ugha Mongulala, were chosen by the gods 15,000 years ago (around 13,000 BCE), long before traditional academia dictates that humans first set foot on American soil.

3000 years before the year zero (16,000 BCE) glimmering golden ships appeared in the sky. The pilots looked like humans with fine features; white skinned with bluish-black hair and thick beards. Quetzalcoatl, who according to legend was the founder of both Aztec and Mayan culture, and is sometimes known as the feathered serpent, was also described as a white man, with a broad forehead, large eyes and flowing beard.

In the year zero, following a catastrophic war, the gods left. This seems to have caused a global catastrophe, reminiscent perhaps of the destruction of Atlantis, after which the surrounding tribes lapsed into barbarism.

In year 13 (10,468 BC) the great flood came – the rivers changed course, mountains suddenly elevated, and there was a rapid and devastating climate change as regions which had previously enjoyed a warm climate were thrown abruptly into the cold.

The inhabitants of the Takla Mahan region of China and Mongolia are known as the Uighurs. Chinese legends state that the Uighur civilization reached its height around 17,000 years ago – which roughly corresponds to the destruction of Lemuria. The similarity between the two names of Uighur and Ugha Mongulala are obvious and should need little explanation.

The first advanced settlements sprang up around the area of Mesopotamia (Iraq) during the fifth millennium BCE, seemingly from nowhere. Ancient texts that these people left behind state that gods came to Earth from another unknown planet and taught them the arts of civilisation. This planet is known as Nibiru, and is depicted on several of their cylinder seals. The tale of gods who came from another realm is by no means limited to Mesopotamia but is repeated in various cultures throughout the world, including ancient Egypt, the Olmecs and China.

Scientists believe that man evolved completely on his own, with no outside interference from God or gods. However, evidence suggests that we were created through the genetic engineering of our ancestor Homo erectus and extraterrestrial DNA. This goes a long way towards answering the question of the ‘missing link’ that scientists and archaeologists have spent many years searching for. It also explains the 223 genes whose origins the Human Genome Project has been unable to account for.

We are not the only race in our galaxy, as two were created - Humans and Reptiles. The Reptiles are not shape shifters or vampires, but are merely playing the role that was assigned to them. They are neither good nor bad, but simply are what they are.

The two races were given contradictory creational myths in order to incite conflict, thus helping us to grow. The Reptiles were told that they had the right to colonise any planet or star system within the galaxy and destroy any non-Reptilian race already living there. The Humans were told that could also colonise other stars and planets, but if they found another race living there, they were to negotiate a peace treaty and co-exist alongside them.

A war between the Humans and the Reptiles led to the formation of the Galactic Federation, when it became clear that there was a need for an organisation that would oversee the various human colonies, and broker peace between the warring races. It also became necessary to create a permanent patrolling force to act as both deterrent and peace keeper. This peace keeper and battle star was named Nibiru, the missing Planet X, as depicted in the ancient Mesopotamian texts. Its inhabitants are the same beings that were credited with teaching the Mesopotamians the arts of civilisation.

Following a second war, the Reptilian home world was destroyed. The surviving Reptiles who refused to side with their Government were given refuge and taken aboard Nibiru. As a means of broking peace, the commander Anu took a Reptilian wife, who gave birth to a son Enki, the Mesopotamian god of water. Anu’s elder son Enlil by his chief spouse Antu was god of Earth. The Atlantean civilisation, which was the most important of all Lemurian colonies, flourished for 200,000 years, and finally came to an end around 10,500 BCE, around the same time as the Akakorian great flood.

By this time, the Atlanteans had begun to acquire delusions of grandeur. No longer satisfied with being a daughter Empire, they believed that they could and should be mother. They therefore began to plot the destruction of Lemuria. They began to form alliances with renegade Reptiles led by Marduk, chief god of Babylon (and Enki’s son).

Under the command of Marduk, the Atlanteans harnessed the power of a giant crystal. To begin with it was used to power various forms of transport. Marduk began to infiltrate their scientific community with the aid of his Reptilian allies, so that the scientists soon became the dominant force in Atlantean society. He then began to infiltrate the ruling class, which caused a division between the spiritual and scientific communities. Eventually, it got to the stage where Marduk himself was Ruler, in everything but name. Things rapidly degenerated until disaster seemed inevitable.

At that time, Earth had two Moons, each of which was roughly two-thirds the size of our present one. The Atlantean Rulers harnessed one of these Moons in a tractor beam from the Great Crystal and threatened to use it against any civilization that opposed their plans. The Moon was imploded by means of particle beam weapons shortly before reaching the Lagrange Point of critical mass. This set off a catastrophic volcanic eruption causing the gas chambers beneath Lemuria to implode, sinking the entire continent.

Following the destruction of Lemuria, the Atlanteans were faced with the prospect of rebuilding Earth and restoring order within the remaining Lemurian colonies. Some supported the Atlanteans, fearful of their power, but others opposed them.

The Atlanteans harnessed a comet, holding it in a tractor beam and threatening to use it against those who opposed them. When Nibiru came back into orbit, it disrupted the tractor beam, sending the comet crashing down on Atlantis. A collision of this type although catastrphic, is not though sufficient to sink an entire continent.

Author Herbie Brennan came to some interesting conclusions during the research for his book, The Atlantis Enigma. According to Brennan, the only force that could destroy a continent is the remnants of a supernova. A supernova is a star that explodes so violently that it destroys itself, creating a large amount of gas and debris in the process. Only four supernovas have been identified in Earth’s recorded history, one of which, Vela, exploded approximately 14,000 to 11,000 years ago, around the time that Atlantis is believed to have sunk. Brennan surmises that a planet-sized chunk of debris from the Vela supernova must have passed within the orbit of the Moon. But what if this planet- sized chunk was not a supernova, but the missing planet X, in other words, Nibiru?

The closer this chunk came to Earth, the more it affected conditions on the planet. The first thing to occur was a series of violent volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. As the supernova or planet approached closer, the Earth was bombarded with meteorites. Finally, the gravitational pull created a mammoth wave, up to 1600 feet high which devastated everything in its path, including Atlantis.

The tilt in Earth’s axis caused a catastrophic shift in world climate. The north lands were moved from a temperate zone away from the warmth of the Sun. The explosion of dirt and debris into the atmosphere blocked the Sun’s heat further still. As the intruder grew closer, it added its own radiation to that of the Sun’s, generating further heat. The heat causmelted water droplets in the atmosphere to fall as rain, a driving deluge driven by hurricane force winds. This deluge fell as snow in the north. Earth was abruptly thrown into a new Ice Age.

At the same time, Marduk’s son Seth (this is the same Seth who in Egyptian mythology killed his brother Osiris) destroyed the Firmament, adding to the devastation. The Firmament was a band of moisture about three miles thick surrounding Earth that maintained its lush, green environment. Millions of gallons of water fell from the sky in a great deluge that lasted for forty days and forty nights.

We can see clear parallels here between the history of Atlantis and Akakor, in that both were subject to a great war following which the gods left. The decided not to warn the Humans of the impending disaster, as they reasoned it was only a matter of time before they destroyed themselves anyway. Enki disobeyed the order and instructed his son Noah and his family to build the ark. The rest as they say is history.

It seems to me that the main theme of the film is the light and the dark. This is mirrored in our own lives, and indeed throughout the universe. The more I look around me and examine my own life, the more I see this in action.

It must be remembered that it is only through adversity and through confronting our pain that we can grow and evolve. Someone has to kick over the ant hills and play the dark role in order for us to learn and be challenged. When I look around me at recent developments within the publishing world, and my own community, it becomes clear as well that the dark can sometimes masquerade as the light, as this is the only way to get our attention. The light knows that the media feed off negativity and use it fuel the need for change.

A perfect example of this would be the women who earlier this year complained at injured servicemen from the rehabilitation unit at Headley Court, using the public swimming pool free of charge. This was brought to the attention of the national press, who then used the publicity in order to raise funds for the Help for Heroes campaign aimed at improving the facilities.

Everything has a value, even if it is not obvious, through teaching or showing us what we need to change. It may take several years to see what that value is, but it is always there. If you look in the mirror, is the reflection that you see truly representative of who you are? The truth and our perception of ourselves changes as we grow and evolve. Take what you will then from this article, and know that if you do not understand it now, then you can always come back to it in two years time when your perception has changed.

In the meantime, if you are eager to know more and are ready to embrace that change, then I recommend a very good book, called Genesis of Man …

Positives and Negatives

Tonight, I was sitting at home enjoying EastEnders when the phone rang - it was Sarah Jane, who runs the astrology group that I have been attending for the past 18 months. I had totally forgotten that we were supposed to be meeting tonight. Luckily the group is based at her mother's house, who lives on the same park as us, less than a five minute walk away, so I very quickly got changed out of my dressing gown, filled a water bottle and got there as fast as I could.

I was glad that I did, because the meditation as always, provided much food for thought. The sun has just moved into the airy sign of Gemini - the twins, and this is highlighting for me, the duality of existence that I am living by at the moment - the need to work and earn money, against the need to, you guessed it - write. I get the feeling that things will start to ease soon, but for the moment at least this is the situation that I am living with and I have to do my best to cope with this in the only way that I know how.

I have three planets in Gemini - all of them interesting and potentially very positive - except for the fact that they are squaring four other ones - which are not so interesting or positive. A dialogue has opened up between the seven planets concerned - in Gemini, Jupiter, Vesta and the north node of the Moon - the point of destiny or dragon's head, and in Pisces - Chiron, the Moon, Saturn and Ceres - and I am a lot clearer as to what I need to do to get through the particular challenges that these bring. In a nutshell, meditate, and ask for help !

One hell of a ride

Today it looks very much like I will soon be out of a job. We were told at work some time ago that a big announcement would be made to the City today regarding the future of the company and where we were heading, and it was not good news.

Our parent company have decided to close 77 stores. Most of these closures will come about in the form of natural wastage - simply put the stores will close as and when their leases expire. The lease in our store expires at the end of July, and so it seems that mine will be too, and I will have to look for a new job.

While this is still not official, it is as good as a done deal. While I had been half expecting this for several months, it has still come as a bit of a shock to find that despite my rantings about the job on here, I have got used to going there four mornings each week and interacting with the customers.

It is ironic that this happened just at the moment that I finally have committed to this job, and begun to accept the fact that I will not be able to make a living from writing. I have tried so hard these past few weeks to really put the effort in and change the way that I think and feel, and have begun to make some real inroads and significant gains in confidence. I have even broken through the blockage that I seemed to have around selling the expensive items, and had made my mind up that I would like to be trained as expert, but it seems that this is not to be.

Maybe I was only meant to be there for a short period of time - to learn what I needed to learn from the experience and move on. There has I must admit, been a hell of a lot of learning to do, and it has at times, been very, very challenging indeed. In many ways, the job epitomises everything that I despise about the consumer society in which we live, where meaningless entertainment has superseded both family and real life.

My Manager has a meeting on Tuesday with his own boss to discuss what opportunities may be open to him and his staff who wish to remain with the company, and I guess we will know better then what our options are, but right now I am not sure whether I want to stay at all. Maybe it is time to move on to something bigger and better, something where I can be much more myself, perhaps in an office environment, or maybe even a book store or a library. Only time will tell, but I get the feeling that something much better is waiting just around the corner.

Standing Still

A funny thing seems to have happened this weekend - it is almost as if time has stood still, yet at the same time, I have been aware of it moving very quickly as well. When I had my reading a few weeks ago, she said that once I began to let go I would find that I seemed to have more time for a lot of things, and was no longer running around like a headless chicken. It seems that she was right.

It seems in many ways, to have a even busier weekend than normal. It began on Friday with a trip to the gym and then the supermarket. I find I am getting very fit and strong these days, and I love the way my body looks - I am developing arm muscles that I never had before, and my shoulders have a nice defined look at them. This is no doubt helped by my job - lifting and carrying objects, which in some cases, are almost as big as I am. When I first joined the gym at the beginning of last year, I could not use the treadmills for more than a few minutes without holding on to the rail to steady myself, and I struggled to lift more than 7 kilos. Now I can walk or cycle comfortably for half an hour if not more, at up to 6 kms an hour and comfortably lift more than twice as much. I will perhaps never be a runner, but have always been a walker, preferring a steady pace, and I enjoy the satisfaction of continually pushing myself to reach a goal.

On Friday I spent a lazy afternoon lounging around the viewpoint, sitting in the sun, drinking tea and reading A New Earth. I am almost halfway through the book now - after 2 weeks and it has certainly made a big difference to my life. I still find myself slipping back into the old egocentric ways, but at least now I am much more aware of when I do that, and can see what lies underneath it rather than becoming embroiled and believing that the voice in the head is who I am.

I suppose that is what I love about Lundy - the ability it gives me to completely disengage from the mind chatter and get out of my mind completely - trust me on this - it's the only place to be!

Yesterday the day began with a a visit to the Village Fun Day. This was a chance to network with various people from around our village gathering news and gossip for the forthcoming edition of the village newsletter that I edit. The copy deadline is looming once again! I got home and wrote up the various stories that I have been working on - I also wrote a piece about the Fun Day itself, with a list of the regular events that take place in the Hall.

Then it was lunch time, followed by a trip into town to get a skirt for work - it is becoming too hot now for trousers, and I thought that if I flash some leg, it might help me to sell a few more things to the younger male customers, giving me the edge!

The evening was a busy one as well, with phone calls to be made once again for the village newsletter - to the Secretary for the Roads Association, the Secretary for the Residents Association on our park home site, and then to the District Councillor to see if she could help with some legal information regarding the Council Tax banding situation. She couldn't, so I emailed a company called Park Home Legal Services instead, whom I found via the Internet. I will be seeing the District Councillor at the Neighbourhood Council meeting tomorrow, so we can bring each other up to date on various things then.

It was funny though, because my partner and I both thought that Casualty, one of the few television programmes that I still like to watch, was on at 8.45pm, and I ended up stuck on the phone sorting out these various issues until 9.15pm. I switched the TV on anyway to catch what I thought would be the end, only to find that I had got the time wrong and it started at 9.20pm after all ! Isn't the universe wonderful when you let go of expectations and begin to go with the flow !

So, today promises to be yet another sweltering day - and another busy one. We are off to the gym in a moment before it gets too hot, we will then no doubt stop at the viewpoint to catch the breeze and some more sun, before coming home to cook lunch and do the laundry for next week - the whites are whizzing round as I speak. After that I have to go and interview my subject for this months centrespread and take some more photographs to accompany the text, and then well, we will see what happens.

What a busy weekend then it has been - five weeks and 6 days to go to Lundy and counting ... Not that I am wishing my life away you understand.

The latest update from Karen Bishop

Late last night, just as I was about to switch my computer off, a new energy alert came in from Karen Bishop, which I feel in part, compelled to post on here. It certainly explains a few things, and it reads as follows:

"Although an energy alert was just posted on May 1, because we experienced a shift yesterday on May 5, I felt it important to post this much needed information today. If you have not read the energy alert for May 1, kindly access it here.

Yesterday, May 5, we experienced a much needed shift in the energies. Yesterday was the cross-quarter between the equinox and the solstice, or the half way point of the meeting of masculine and feminine…a good breaking point marking a move from one energetic space into another.

A few weeks ago, I was putting my bed and frame together, and ended up pinned under my queen size box spring. What a heavy load it was, and what a difficult time I had trying to get out from under it! “OK,” I told myself. “I realize this is symbolic of the current energies, but can I get out now?” And this is what the energies have been doing up until yesterday, the 5th.

We have been under a huge amount of pressure, not being able to catch up, seemingly not being able to get out from under a barrage of things piling up on us, and feeling an immense burden of responsibilities, have to’s, and perhaps even feeling trapped in a merry-go-round of nothing being resolved, with no solution in sight.

Just when we thought we could take no more, something else would land on our plate or in our space, and we would have to deal with that. Around and around the energies would go, with just too much to do while seemingly getting nowhere with anything. Having to do things over, and still with no resolution, was a common manifestation. Many of us could simply not get on top of anything. We were buried beneath a big box spring of who knows what with no end in sight!

Exhaustion, fatigue, short fuses, tightness, and just feeling plain worn out were common symptoms. No time for anything enjoyable, no time to relax, and even if we made the time, the tightness was there and it could be difficult to relax even when intending to relax!

It could also be difficult getting comfortable with much of anything. Not much of anything would feel right. No good movies, nothing good to read, our creative endeavors might have felt off and not right, and many may have felt that nothing was fitting….nowhere to go that felt remotely good or right. Being out in nature may even have felt “off” for some unknown reason.

Also during this time, we were detoxing. This can manifest as body and muscle pain, sinus headaches, nausea, and a general feeling of toxins within our system. Insomnia was prevalent as well, as the energies were building and had nowhere to go as of yet. Restless sleep, even when exhausted, and waking up at dawn were common occurrences for many.

In one fell swoop, things finally culminated, and the shift occurred. For me, I felt nauseous, completely flattened for about an hour, and as if I had been run over by a truck. Then it was over.

And as the energies built, the weather was affected as well. Violent occurrences of tornadoes, typhoons, high winds, vast variances in the temperature from one day to the next, and the like. Much movement in many arenas!

Up until yesterday, the energies were jammed, so to speak. This was because we had reached a new plateau, or higher dimension at the end of March, and were not yet in alignment with much. And the new energies were pushing against the old, piling on top of each other because the new alignments were not yet completed. Although this pattern will continue with much of the world, the May 5th break will help to alleviate much that we have been feeling within us."

This pretty much sums up exactly how I have been feeling, and although I realise that a lot of it is my own stuff, it is also good to know that cosmic forces are at work to help me break down these issues, and begin to work through them in a much more effective way.

Karen goes on to talk about the US economy; how things are beginning to reach crisis point and how a lot of the blockages were caused by the fact that the energy itself was jammed - as above, so below I guess! I certainly felt something shift over the last weekend, and something quite profound. The trick now has been holding on to that space while continuing back at work - which has not been easy at all.

I managed it okay on Monday, but then that was a quiet day, and the waffler was not in! He was back though yesterday and with a vengeance. It sounds awful, but last week he had a job offer from another store (he has been looking around for a while). There I was thinking that I was going to get rid of him, and that I must have worked through the challenges that he had presented to me. I should have realised that I am not the only one in this store, and others may not have worked through them quite yet, as he has decided not to take it, and to stay where he is for the moment - something about not wanting to travel. I can't say I blame him in some ways, as his girlfriend and most of his friends work in the town, and so it is convenient, and the other store, although larger, is not in nearly such a nice area.

Oh well, I guess there is still more work to do - still, the sun is shining once again and the church yard round the corner presented a sunny spot to sit in yesterday while I had my lunch. Time to get that uniform on again then for another day ...

The meaning of life

I had a strange dream in that moment of transition between sleep and wakefulness, the exact details of which I can no longer recall. I do recall though that my sister Linda was there - an unusual occurrence in itself given that she suffers from schizophrenia, and our relationship is not exactly what you call best friends.

From the few details that I do remember, the dream was based around the island of Lundy, where I retreat to two, maybe three times a year, in order to recharge my batteries. Somehow or other I had got locked out of the cottage, with all my possessions inside - everything that I needed to sustain me and keep me warm from the rapidly encroaching darkness as night fell. Linda and I needed to get help to get back into the cottage before this happened, and while she seemed totally unconcerned, I was searching around, desperately looking for help and wondering whether we had time to get that help before it was too late. It was at that point that the alarm clock went off and I had to get out of bed. I would not normally set the alarm clock of course for a Bank Holiday, but I do work in retail, and so to me, it is just another working day - albeit slightly shorter and with more pay.

It occurred to me while I was in the shower, that perhaps this is about letting go of my own baggage. My friend Diana Summer mentioned some while ago that the Terminal 5 baggage fiasco was also about this - where thousands of bags belonging to air passengers failed to arrive at their destination, and weeks later have still not been found. The fact that the darkness was encroaching was also no doubt, about my own willingness, or perhaps lack of it, to look at my own darkness. I think most of us are afraid of this, and I am no exception here. I also think, or rather feel, that I have made a very good start.

For the first time I actually understand experientially as well as conceptually what that phrase "choose a new reality" really means, and I also understand at last, just how powerful our words and our thoughts really are. It is not something that you can explain to another, as to coin a phrase from Genesis of Man "Words are the least effective way of describing our experiences, as they are merely symbols which are used to describe our thoughts and feelings". When Descartes said "I think, therefore I am" perhaps what he should have said is "I feel, therefore I am".

We have to be willing to let go of everything that we are, and everything that we ever have been if we are to understand who we are truly are. When I think about this, I see transsexuals in many ways as the ultimate in this - for these are people who are willing to give up their whole sense of identity - changing their bodies, their names and literally starting all over again to order to find who they truly are inside. On the other side of the coin are the refugees and 'victims' of various atrocities, who have lost their livelihood, their homes and their loved ones - and seen things that are the stuff of nightmares.

Acceptance of what is

I have just returned from a particularly interesting morning with my friend and astrologer extraordinaire, Sarah Jane Grace. Readers may recall that for some time now, I have been studying with Sarah on her course entitled Astrodynamics.

The morning began with looking at the Sabian symbol for the day - the Sabians being a star worshipping 'cult' from south-east Turkey, originating in the dim and distant past. Writer Andrew Collins mentions them in some of his books - in particular his latest, The Cygnus Mystery and also his first book, From the Ashes of Angels. The wording though for the symbol is as follows:

"A quiet, youthful young couple are walking down a busy street stopping to peer into every window with joyful glee".

It was interesting how this meant different things to different members of the group. For me it seemed to relate to materialism and how although on the surface many of these things seem to be illusory and transient, they are linked in ways that we do not know, for it is actually the sale and acquisition of these 'things' that keep the universe in motion, and the wheels ticking over, creating a ceaseless ebb and flow of monetary energy upon which we all depend.

We moved into the sign of Taurus the bull around nine or ten days ago, and since then, well, I don't need to tell you of all the dramas that have manifested in my life. The bull is one of those strange almost two faceted animals, which on the one hand looks graceful, quiet and serene grazing in the field, yet if you anger him and get on his wrong side, then boy do you know it! He is a slow and patient animal which cannot be pushed and has to be allowed to do things in his own time and at his own pace, in many ways a bit like myself.

The material world makes few allowances for this with the frenetic pace of modern life, and it seems, more and more demands being placed upon us every day. Customers have to be seen and dealt with then and there when they are in front of you, even if it is time for lunch, or you need to go to the toilet; they cannot wait and their needs have to come first, as secondary to your own. This is the nature of retail and the modern world that we live in.

There is also another side to Taurus, which resists these challenges and these pressures. Venus the ruler of Taurus, appreciates nature and sensuality, and this is bursting forth, as witnessed by the sudden blossoming this week of the cherry trees around our area. Aries, the sign that we have just left, was about that urgent creative spark, and as the energy builds towards the Summer Solstice on June 21st (my birthday as it happens) this is a perfect opportunity to put our dreams and aspirations into action, to stride out into the universe and make things happen through our intent.

Taurus is the lull in between, that creative space where you are waiting for those things to happen, and well, I have never been a particularly patient person. This has to a large extent been instilled into me by the demands of the material world, and the aforementioned career in retail that I mentioned.

It seems that the first thing that I do each morning after I have showered is switch on this damned computer. It is also the first thing I do, after removing my uniform when I get home from work. I do not allow myself to switch off and even switch between modes, but just rush from one place, to the next never allowing myself to unwind and just be. No wonder my mind is so over active then, and no wonder I cannot switch off. The time would be much better spent, I have come to the conclusion, in silent meditation, as this would set me up for the day so that I start at work refreshed and in the right frame of mind, free from distractions of not just my book, but everything else too. This then is the over riding thing that I got from today.

I cannot afford to waste time worrying about the things that I cannot control, and which are outside of myself. When you are in the midst of identification with the mind, which is a very powerful thing, it is all consuming and you cannot see the wood for the trees. You become absorbed and almost totally surrounded by what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the pain body, which is a complex interweaving of thought forms and emotions, a product of our past experiences. This is the baggage that has been imposed upon us not just by society, but also by ourselves, for we have been complicit in allowing society to 'do' these things to us, and have allowed this baggage to become 'ours'. Once we begin to see through this, as I have done today, then there comes a tremendous release of pent up emotion, and beneath that, a deep sense of peace and acceptance of what is. It is a knowing of what needs to be done and an acceptance of what is, the recognition that you no longer need to be right or to be angry with the world, for all is at peace, and is manifesting as you have chosen it to be.