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Friday, 17 April 2009

Am I ready?

Things seem very quiet on the spiritual front at the moment, with many that I know seemingly in hibernation. After the burst of energy that created spring, humanity at least seems to have retreated back into its shell.

It seems that everyone is waiting - waiting for something that they may not be aware of. I am waiting for CRB clearance so that I can start my new job - as a housekeeper at a nearby care home. It is only 12 hours a week - 6 hours each day on Saturdays and Sundays, but you know what they say, everything helps, and I have the feeling that it may not stay part time for very long. I should hopefully be able to get some exam invigilating work as well at a nearby school - the exam season runs from the middle of May through to the end of June, assuming my CRB clearance comes through for that also - it has been a month since I applied, so hopefully it won't be too long.

Karen Bishop says that massive blasts of energy are bombarbing the earth, pushing us ever closer to our very new beginnings. Those who more sensitive, as I usually am, may experience the familiar symptoms of heart palpitations (my partner gets these a lot), difficulty breathing, anxiety, fear, and an over-all shakiness inside.

Thankfully these bursts of energy are becoming less and less frequent. When they do arrive, they tend to shake things up, pushing things to the surface. Motor and personal accidents are common, along with feelings of being rattled, and great insecurities. Thankfully I have not experienced too many of these, but I did go through a spate of this a few weeks ago, when someone drove into the back of my car. How I felt about the Lundy situation, which now seems a dim and distant memory has been well documented and needs no explanation.

While I was there, on the island, I also had what can only be described as flu like symptoms - blocked nose, sinus congestion and generally feeling yucky. At the time I believed it was a reaction to too much dairy, as people who suffer from lactose intolerance, as I tend to when I over indulge (we drink rice milk at home, but you can't get it on the island, so I have to drink cows). Karen though says that when we make great change within (and I made some enormous changes during and since those 2 weeks), we experience allergy symptoms and sinus headaches, due to resistance. There was a lot of resistance for me at that time - to more or less everything that I was seeing.

“Insecurities” are the hallmark of this latest energy surge. When we are dangling in mid-air, waiting to step onto to the next rung of the evolutuionary ladder, it is natural to feel insecure, for we have nothing to hold on to. All that we knew and were used to has been lost. Add this latest energy surge to the mix, and the insecurities are magnified tenfold.

Some cling on to the first comfortable looking thing that comes along, in efforts to find a "fix" that will make them feel better, but nothing much has come my way. Some make long term decisions that affect their future or form a new group of friends - again, nothing has come my way. This is all about forming new connections - in my case while I wait for the CRB clearance to start my new job, it feels like I am waiting for those connections to forge.

There seems to be a lot of darkness around right now - thankfully I am not personally affected, although at least one friend is - experiencing problems with his neighbours and certain more orthordox Christians who are saying that he cannot take part in a complimentary health fair at their Christian centre as his work is not compatible with "Christian principles". I am not sure which version of the Bible they have, but last time I read mine, it was filled with tales of Jesus healing the sick in the same way that this man does. I fail then to see how his work is not compatible with their ideals. He has offered though to change the wording so that it is. Sometimes you need to play the devils game.

So, this latest energy surge has rattled many cages and encouraged us to move away from our comfort zone. This may explain why I am feeling relatively okay with it (for the moment at least), for after the start to the year I have had, expanding the comfort zone is nothing new. I am then waiting for things to come together before I can begin to re-start anew. The question is, am I ready?

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