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Saturday, 4 April 2009

Lifting the veil

Three weeks after I had my interview, the postman came early today, bringing with him a letter postmarked Lundy Island. With bated breath, I opened it and began to read:

"Thank you for taking the time to attend the interview with me recently on Lundy and also for the assistance that you gave during the week of voluntary work on the Island. I hope you enjoyed the experience. I'm sure that you would have found Island life very different working behind the scenes to being a visitor.

Having considered your application very carefully unfortunately I'm sorry to have to tell you that you have been unsuccesful on this occasion.

In the meantime I would like to take the opportunity to wish you success for the future and hope to see you on Lundy again soon."

My initial response was relief, but this has quickly given way to a myriad of other emotions as the pain body springs into action, licking its lips for another feast. I think I realised a day or so ago that I had not got the job, when I found it being re-advertised, with a note to the effect that previous applicants need not apply.

Although I had made my mind up a week ago that the job was not right for me, I am still disappointed to see it in black and white, and there is still a sense of loss. Perhaps it would have been better to have kept things as they were - maintaining the illusion of perfection that I see now is the island's veneer, but I know in my heart of hearts that that was never an option; I had to see this through. I am only sorry that I had to do it so publically, due to my role as Editor of the village newsletter, and for the pain that I have caused my partner in the process.

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