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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

The eternal traveller that needs to let go

Tonight was the monthly Astrodynamics meeting with my good friend, Sarah Jane Grace. Since the Sun has recently moved into the sign of Sagittarius, this was the theme for the evening. We started off as per usual by meditating on the Sabian symbol for the day, which changed literally as our meeting began (there are different symbols for each astrological minute of each sign). This was as follows:

"An ugly old human figure is the carved representation of a God. Near the left side is an ever burning lamp."

It was not specified whether God in this case was upper or lower case, but my own interpretation was upper. There is a difference. What immediately sprang to mind was the passage from the book of Genesis where it states that God created man in his own image. I have always thought that it was much more the other way around - that it was man that created God in his own image, this being the only way that we can relate to anything - this helps to explain why the God in the Bible has human traits such as jealousy, anger and the need to be worshipped and acknowledged. The God that I believe in has no such traits, as he knows who he is and does not need any of these things. That though is my own belief, and others will doubtless feel different.

It also brought to mind the idea that in our own way we too are Gods, since many ancient belief systems teach that when God created the universe, he split off various parts of himself that were placed inside the other beings that populate this universe - plants, animals and humans. Each of us contains a fragment of that God energy that is known as the Christ spark, that helps us to stay anchored and connected, and when we leave our bodies, find our way home. I see the lamp in this symbol as representative of the human heart, where the light is said to be anchored. The heart in some cultures such as ancient Egyptian (it was the only organ to be left intact and not removed during the mummification process) was also seen as the seat of the soul.

Sagittarius is one of four fire signs. It is seen as the force of spirit, filled with raw creative energy and desire for life. Sagittarians are full of colour, drama and intensity and do not do things by halves. They are on a constant quest for aspiration, filled with energy, enthusiasm and a great zest for life. They are the spiritual warriors of the zodiac. Planets within fire signs tend to be expressed with great colour, drama and intensity.

At this time of year, as the nights draw in and winter approaches, there is an increase in darkness, as we withdraw into ourselves, reflecting the changes in nature. It is at this time that the imagination comes to life, as we reflect on the year that is about to end and look forward to the New Year which is fast approaching. This is the time when we begin to think about our goals and aspirations, about what we would like to change. It is also the time to think about how we can achieve those goals, and if they are realistic.

The symbol of Sagittarius is the Centaur - half man, half beast. This combines the raw energy and power of the horse with the aspiring vision of man. The arrow that the Centaur fires is set on a distant goal - the quest for understanding of the universe and how it all works.

Sagittarius is the eternal traveller - restless and always looking for the next big thing. The journey is infinitely more important than the destination, as this is how we learn. Once that goal is reached, we strive for the next big thing, achieving greater and greater visions of ourselves.

Sagittarians hate confinement of any kind - they have to be free to pursue their goals and be themselves. This sign is about bringing life to the inner world of dreams and aspirations, so that when spring returns, we are ready to let go and let our arrows fly.

During the meditation with the sign of Sagittarius I received the following message:

"We create our own reality, and that can be whatever we want it to be. We are in a continual state of creation - every thought, word and deed counts, and we need to learn to harness that power and use it constructively rather than destructively, as many are presently choosing to do. The choice is mine whether to look for another job, but if I am honest, despite the challenges, I find this one quite stimulating, as it is those very challenges that help me to learn and grow. When I think about the learning and growing I have done since starting this job, just over a year ago, it has presented me with unrivalled opportunities that I have not had anywhere else. It is also about proving to myself how strong and resilient I can be, as if I can sell these products during times of recession, I can sell pretty much anything else - including myself."

That is the gist of what I received, and I have to say that to me, it makes perfect sense.

The only Planet that I have in the sign of Sagittarius is my Dragon's Tail, which represents my past lives and how those lives affect the present. I felt the Tail to be very heavy - it was attached to me at the base of the spine via a long metal chain which seemed to weigh me down. I saw this too as a symbol of being chained to my past.

This was particularly pertinent to me, since earlier today, I received an email from the past - from a girl that I went to school with almost 30 years ago. I had a rough time at school, as one within the first year of intake of girls at a previously all boys school. Because I was sensitive and clever and not good at sport, I was bullied mercilessly, and this girl was one of the worst. She was one of the popular ones - a rich kid who owned her own pony, and whose parents ran a pub. I remember her asking me why I could not be normal like the rest of the kids, and me thinking that if that was normal, I wanted no part of it.

From that point onwards I made every effort to be different, withdrawing more and more into my shell. When I stop to think back on it, those words affected me deeply and continue to affect me today. It is time though to leave the past where it is, and forget about what has been - all of this happened 30 years ago and we have both moved on. I do now know what was happening in her home life to make her say these things, and it may have been worse than I knew.

I will sleep on things tonight and then start afresh in the morning. You never know, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

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