With less than three weeks to go until our store closes, and having spent two days now working at another nearby store, I was still not (until yesterday) happy about the transfer. I thought long and hard about why this is, and discussed it with my partner and two good friends.
It is always difficult to be still and tune in when you are in the midst of emotions, as I often tend to be (as Sarah Jane would say, too much water and not enough air - she is the other way around). My friends, plus of course my partner, know me better than I know myself and saw that the real reason for the resistance was nothing to do with the fact that the staff are younger than me, or the fact that it means a change of routine (although this does play a part). No, the main problem is energetic - i.e. the energies of the store and that sector of retailing in general are just not right for me. It is in short the total opposite of everything that I stand for (privately at least anyway) - pandering to egos and wants rather than needs, and at my current store, at the moment at least, the need for gossip ("Is that right that you're closing - I think that's terrible").
I usually bite my lip and refuse to comment when they say things like that, while thinking "If you had supported the store a bit more and not demanded ridiculous discounts and so on, then it might not have happened." Oh yes indeed, what goes around comes around, and rather than the 10 percent (it has increased to 15 percent as of this week) discount being offered being an insult to the townspeople, as a certain blog site states, I see this as a lesson for them in five words - "use it or lose it". When it comes to my store, there will never be truer words spoken, once it's shut than "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". It won't matter to me though, because by then I will be gone too.
This job is in many ways the complete opposite of everything I hold dear. If I am honest, (and thankfully I can with my Manager), I have to say that I don't believe there is any benefit at all to much of what we sell - apart from its distraction value. I see the value in certain items, but these are few and far between. Most of what we sell is nothing but a distraction designed to close off the mind to what is going in within its murky depths, and stop us from looking at our 'stuff'. We all do that I suppose, but in different ways. Personally I listen to music, or eat chocolate, which is not that good (but very tasty).
As usual I digress. I was talking about my resistance to the transfer. The main problem I felt was energetic, but it was also to do with not accepting that my current store was about to close - this is only natural I suppose when you consider the circumstances, and there is, with any loss, a certain amount of grieving involved. What didn't help was not having the opportunity to talk to their Manager to find out about hours and so on. Yesterday though, when she came to the store to collect some of our stock, we finally had the chance to talk.
What she had to say changed my mind, and made me realise that maybe this is not such a bad thing after all. Basically I will get a 52p an hour pay rise due to London weighting (I wonder if I will get it for the 2 days I have already worked there?). I will also have to work weekends.
Now a year or so ago this would have been a disaster, but things have changed - I am no longer out there doing talks and book signings etc at the weekends, and so don't have to worry about having those days off. At the new store everyone has to work weekends; it is the only way to make sure that everyone is treated the same - what this means is three Saturdays out of four, and every other Sunday from 10.30 - 4.30 (you get paid for an eight hour day even though is it only six hours).
This also means that once every four weeks you have a long weekend off - four days in a row. Most people use this for weekends away, so that they in effect get extra holiday time. I can see that this could work really well for me, especially if I can time my Lundy trips around these times - for if I do when I won't have to take extra days off for driving to and from the ports.
I am feeling 100 percent happier and am actually looking forward to the challenge of moving now that is all sorted out. I think the Manager is the sort of lady that I could talk to, and that in time, we will develop the rapport that my current Manager and I now have. I do hope so. As for the Assistant Manager who suggested that we should tell the customers that our shop was to become a New Age shop just to wind them up, well, he will come around when he sees what this New Age stuff brings to my life. In my experience most people can be persuaded when they see the benefits ...
The latest energy alert from Karen Bishop, impeccable as always in its timing, also had some pearls of wisdom to offer. My own thoughts are in bold:
"The process of re-wiring or re-connecting to a new shore, or higher vibrating home involved a tuning up within, as well as a tuning up without. The economy here in the US is undergoing a similar process, which will affect the planet as a whole. And as we tune up within, we will affect the planet as a whole as well.
This is a massive transition… but as many of us are far ahead of the masses, we will be nearly untouched, as all our needs will be met with ease.
If you are one who has recently let go of connections to the old, you may now be finding yourself in a space of self-exploration, perhaps considering a geographical move, and wondering what your new role might be. Being still, exploring new options and passions, re-connecting to what it is that you really and truly have always wanted, and allowing things to unfold oh so naturally are your keys. "
When I think about the way in which the transfer happened, it was pretty easy and effortless for me. I didn't have to make endless phone calls and go out searching for a job, I just thought about which stores were nearby, and found that a job was there. Mind you, this doesn't mean that I have to settle in to it, and not consider another move, it just means that I am safe for the moment and don't have to worry - it gives me the breathing space to continue with my own transition to the next level or phase of my life - whatever that will be. And I know that that will be easy and effortless too, for the universe does look after you, if you allow it to.
"During these times, we are always taken care of. If we are in a phase where we are re-connecting to our authentic selves, or allowing that process to unfold, the universe is always behind us, supporting our needs until we are complete with our self-exploration. There is a road map for this process in Stepping Into the New Reality (more about it at the end of this energy alert), as this process is a key component of ascension, and will continue on for many who are on various rungs of the ascension ladder."
This then is about giving myself some space, and the money that I need to live on (supporting my needs) until as Karen says, I am done with my own self exploration. This comes in many forms - the newsletter that I edit, perhaps starting another book, the astrology course with Sarah Jane Grace, all of these things and much more. I know now that I have seen through the resistance, that this is where I am meant to be (but it doesn't have to be forever). If this is what the universe has given me, then it is clearly where I am meant to be, and whatever it is that you are doing in each given moment, forms your purpose for that moment.
"If your re-connection process is complete or near complete, you may find yourself in states of busy-ness, with too many projects to tend to, perhaps feeling overwhelmed, and with a seeming inability to complete just one. All in varying states of being half-finished and scattered. What is occurring here, is that we have one foot in one reality and another foot in another. And the realities are about setting our foundations, beginning those new projects, and tending to our supports until the new has arrived in full.
Because we have created our new connections, this begins then, a new phase or new energy current that wants to be utilized, while at the same time, we may still need to finish up some of the old in order to be ready and prepared for the new.
It is just a matter of overlaps while going from one place to another."
There has been a lot of busy-ness for me of late - dealing with the closure, the pressures of the newsletter, and my partners stuff (it was one month last weekend since the Stevie Wonder episode and his 'heart attack'). It has not been the easiest year for either of us. My partner is busy with work too, and has websites coming out of his ears ...
This then is the space that I am in right now. One foot in one reality (3rd dimension - work) and one foot in another (4th dimension - home, or life outside work). It is just as Karen says, about making sure that all my needs are met until the new has arrived in full. When that will be is not clear, and does not matter, for everything is as it should be. All is in divine order.