As my partner had a visit from a client this afternoon, and I had the day off, this provided me with the perfect excuse to visit the nearby viewpoint for a much needed cup of tea. I felt inspired to listen to the tape that he had of a reading with Diana Summer, following the events at the Stevie Wonder concert at the 02, and it provided much food for thought. During the reading, he also asked about my situation at work, and the underlying cause of the problems that I have been experiencing. The problems are not confined to my current job, for it is clear that this is a long standing pattern with practically every job I have ever had, that I need to break.
The following is a partial transcription from that tape:
"Fear is a powerful source of energy and can dominate and manipulate all other emotions. When it takes hold it has a life of its own. It speaks and has a consciousness that can cause the mental body, the emotional body to disregard reality and see things in a totally different way, in a more chaotic form. Reason is not given privy to consult, for the fear drives it out. Fear is a driving force and can drive the soul to distraction, taking away all sense of security, stability and safety, causing a feeling of being all but dismembered, as if one is in pieces. So, fear can be a very difficult bedfellow.
The fear in the consciousness globally is mounting. This has been caused by mankind's need to expand on any given drama and feed it to the masses in order that the masses soak it up, absorb it and take on the fear, and therefore be more vulnerable and more open to control. Nothing is quite what it seems, for there are other things at play here. There are other lines of communication actively at work. It is to do with the new world order, it is to do with controlling the masses, and there is the hidden agenda.
The situation occurring around June is one where she herself has been in the creative gaze of you moving through change; all the changes you have moved through are reflected on to her and now she is moving through her own fear, fear of not being heard, fear of not being seen, fear of not being honoured, fear of not being acknowledged, fear of not being respected. And this indeed is her experience now, of dealing with her own femininity, her inner male and female.
The pattern she has created has just been repeating, because strong though she is in many ways, there is a resistance to standing up for her rights, a resistance to truly expressing her needs in a way that she will be heard. Because speak as she might, voice her feelings as she does, it comes from a place that doesn't resonate and is not heard and therefore is not acknowledged. The intention behind the words expressed needs to come from deep in the heart, but the words when they are being expressed at the moment are coming from an aspect that is disempowered and therefore not having impact.
This disempowerment is to do with her own fearful issues. It is around the mental body, and sometimes she will 'pop out' because there is always an easier way of dealing with things when you can extricate and not be responsible. So bringing it back into the heart centre and speaking from the heart, quietly, concisely, will have far greater impact on those that she wishes to listen to her, and then she will be heard, because from the heart spoken with true sense of feeling and not from need.
Need is a different vibration, need is a lower vibration and is therefore resisted, but coming from the heart shifts the perspective and it opens the door for people to listen and she will be heard.
It is a simple thing and yet it is a very difficult one. Simple yes in explanation, but difficult to take on board, difficult to truly comprehend. But these lessons then that beset her are to show her that need as an emotion doesn't resonate. In truth when it comes from grace, when it comes from an unconditional heart centred intent then things will change. That doesn't mean one has to be quiet and not put the effort into communication, it is that it is coming from a different place, not from disempowerment, but from the place of authority within her. It is her own sense of power and the power needs to rise up into the heart so that she may speak from there, readily, freely and openly."
As I listened to this, sitting in the car the National Trust Centre with the windows slightly open, I was struck by the beauty of my surroundings. It was a sunny autumn day, with a slight chill in the air, the sort of day when the wind picks up the leaves and the dust and teases them, tossing them playfully into the air and setting them lightly down like feathers. It brought to mind the discussion last night and the work that we did with Libra, and I realised that wind is an aspect of air, the element to which Libra belongs. So I pushed back the seat, opened the windows a little wider, locked the doors and closed my eyes to bathe in the warmth of the sun, and to feel the wind on my face.
Reading through the notes I made from Diana's tape, it came as a shock revelation to discover that rather than the job being the problem, all the time it has been me. All those years I spent at home, pretending to be a writer, provided the perfect excuse for me to hide away and not face the fact that it was I who needed to change.
To quote from my wonderful partner:
The following is a partial transcription from that tape:
"Fear is a powerful source of energy and can dominate and manipulate all other emotions. When it takes hold it has a life of its own. It speaks and has a consciousness that can cause the mental body, the emotional body to disregard reality and see things in a totally different way, in a more chaotic form. Reason is not given privy to consult, for the fear drives it out. Fear is a driving force and can drive the soul to distraction, taking away all sense of security, stability and safety, causing a feeling of being all but dismembered, as if one is in pieces. So, fear can be a very difficult bedfellow.
The fear in the consciousness globally is mounting. This has been caused by mankind's need to expand on any given drama and feed it to the masses in order that the masses soak it up, absorb it and take on the fear, and therefore be more vulnerable and more open to control. Nothing is quite what it seems, for there are other things at play here. There are other lines of communication actively at work. It is to do with the new world order, it is to do with controlling the masses, and there is the hidden agenda.
The situation occurring around June is one where she herself has been in the creative gaze of you moving through change; all the changes you have moved through are reflected on to her and now she is moving through her own fear, fear of not being heard, fear of not being seen, fear of not being honoured, fear of not being acknowledged, fear of not being respected. And this indeed is her experience now, of dealing with her own femininity, her inner male and female.
The pattern she has created has just been repeating, because strong though she is in many ways, there is a resistance to standing up for her rights, a resistance to truly expressing her needs in a way that she will be heard. Because speak as she might, voice her feelings as she does, it comes from a place that doesn't resonate and is not heard and therefore is not acknowledged. The intention behind the words expressed needs to come from deep in the heart, but the words when they are being expressed at the moment are coming from an aspect that is disempowered and therefore not having impact.
This disempowerment is to do with her own fearful issues. It is around the mental body, and sometimes she will 'pop out' because there is always an easier way of dealing with things when you can extricate and not be responsible. So bringing it back into the heart centre and speaking from the heart, quietly, concisely, will have far greater impact on those that she wishes to listen to her, and then she will be heard, because from the heart spoken with true sense of feeling and not from need.
Need is a different vibration, need is a lower vibration and is therefore resisted, but coming from the heart shifts the perspective and it opens the door for people to listen and she will be heard.
It is a simple thing and yet it is a very difficult one. Simple yes in explanation, but difficult to take on board, difficult to truly comprehend. But these lessons then that beset her are to show her that need as an emotion doesn't resonate. In truth when it comes from grace, when it comes from an unconditional heart centred intent then things will change. That doesn't mean one has to be quiet and not put the effort into communication, it is that it is coming from a different place, not from disempowerment, but from the place of authority within her. It is her own sense of power and the power needs to rise up into the heart so that she may speak from there, readily, freely and openly."
As I listened to this, sitting in the car the National Trust Centre with the windows slightly open, I was struck by the beauty of my surroundings. It was a sunny autumn day, with a slight chill in the air, the sort of day when the wind picks up the leaves and the dust and teases them, tossing them playfully into the air and setting them lightly down like feathers. It brought to mind the discussion last night and the work that we did with Libra, and I realised that wind is an aspect of air, the element to which Libra belongs. So I pushed back the seat, opened the windows a little wider, locked the doors and closed my eyes to bathe in the warmth of the sun, and to feel the wind on my face.
Reading through the notes I made from Diana's tape, it came as a shock revelation to discover that rather than the job being the problem, all the time it has been me. All those years I spent at home, pretending to be a writer, provided the perfect excuse for me to hide away and not face the fact that it was I who needed to change.
To quote from my wonderful partner:
"During this journey called Life, we grow from embryos to infants to children to adults moving from event to event, situation to situation, person to person. Sometimes we will stall over a particular circumstance or event that throws us into turmoil creating pain and anguish, always some anger and a myriad of other emotions that we perceive as positive or negative.
These events can appear to us like the proverbial Sword of Damocles, but in reality, our reality, they provide us with the greatest opportunities for the transformation of us as individuals, and ultimately society as a whole. We cannot change society however, until we realise that we can only do this by first being willing to change ourselves. Change is probably the most powerful force in our Universe, for without it there would be no evolution. Change is also the biggest fear that everyone has to face.
If we have the courage to confront our fears about change by learning to face them and move through them, we can overcome all that is presented to us. By confronting our fears we can learn to perceive these myriad of situations in a very different light. Thus, if we choose to view life as a series of learning experiences rather than a series of obstacles in our path, we can and will grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually and find and cultivate many of the undiscovered resources inside ourselves. Nurturing these resources will assist us in many ways in confronting the tasks that we will continue to meet. The more resources we have at our disposal the easier it becomes to deal with what is presented to us.
Change is the energy that propels us to move forward through our chosen tasks and lessons we have elected to deal with during this current incarnation. Most people, in fact all of us at some time or another, fight this change because it means we have to move into areas we do not understand or know very little about.
Fear is the motivator that prevents us from reacting to this change favourably. We resist change because it prompts us to look at ourselves more closely, probably more closely than ever before. The events that challenge us are designed to make us stare at our most difficult emotions, and usually this is anger.
Even though we may be in some pain and discomfort about the situation we find ourselves in, it is familiar. We take that familiarity as comfort, for we know it and, in some way, may understand it. For staying where we are, we believe, is the easy option, is the path of least resistance. Why would anyone choose to move from their comfort zone to a place that represents the unknown? Is it really easier to deal with the familiarity of our constant pain and of staying where we are? We believe that the future is made up of those events and experiences we have had in the past and we believe that is all we will experience again. Why? Fear of the unknown is why. The choice of travelling into the unknown, the mysterious, the undefined, the future uncertain, is definitely a difficult one to make but one that is, without doubt, the right one. The future may be vague and indefinable but is not cast in stone; we make of it what we will."
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