Wait and hope

Friday March 13th

I am as prepared as I can be on the eve of my interview, after a long days walking. It started with a trip to the island shop this morning for some milk and vegetables, which was followed by a walk down to the Battery. The helicopters were going backwards and forwards, which the sheep seemed completely undisturbed by. I was joined at the Battery by a group of three volunteers who have been staying in the Barn - abseiling down the eastern slopes on ropes to help cut back the rhododendrons - they are braver than I would be. Following that, and knowing that I have only enough rice cakes for 2 more days lunches, I went to the Tavern for a nice jacket spud.

So, this afternoon it was a walk down to the Pyramid and to scramble round to the next bay, and then back to the east side for a walk past the Quarries and through the aforementioned rhododendrons. The island is very wet and muddy at the moment, so it was hard going in places, but exhilarating in the wind.

So, 2 weeks from now what will I be doing I wonder? Will I have arrived back on the island on the first boat of the season, or will be at home licking my wounds and wondering what to do next? Perhaps I will be in the midst of packing up having been offered the job a little later than anticipated. This can happen - being Lundy anything is possible.

So, I will go to bed tonight with a belly full of fish cakes and chips, and hopefully have some sweet dreams. Before I close my eyes I shall ask the universe and all the angelic beings and guides I can muster to help me through tomorrow so that I get the outcome that will give me the most growth and everyone else in my life with it. Whatever does happen I know that it will be meant to be, and as they say, resistance is futile, so I will go with the flow and see what transpires.

Saturday March 14th

Following my interview this morning, I am no closer to a resolution than I was before. I hoped and prayed for some news by the time I left, but the island manager has further interviews to conduct on the mainland next week. I am likely to have to wait at least another week. This is not the news I wanted having come this far, but having waited this long, I guess a bit more won't hurt.

It is just that this seems to have been dragging on for so long, and I know the islanders are as keen for a resolution as I am. He did confirm that there are two jobs, so I suppose that at least is something, and in theory at least, doubles my chances. I just wanted to know where I was.

Coming on top of the last few months, makes me wonder really what this is all about. I just seem to spend my whole life waiting for other people to do things. I get so tired of it all at times - maybe I should just get it over with and become my own boss. The trouble I have tried that and it didn't work - maybe I tried the wrong business, but how do you know what the right business is? One that pays good money and doesn't require a lot of expense - if I find the solution to that I will let everyone know.

This afternoon I talked one of the islanders into letting me see the staff accommodation that I will most likely to placed in. Spartan is the word that springs to mind. I am obviously spoilt having never had to share. A few items from home would soon have it looking better and feeling more like home.

I am beginning to see that living on the island is not what it is seems. The staff work very hard for very little pay and live in these less than perfect conditions. I can see why many find it necessary to go off the island at such regular intervals. That would a luxury I would not have, as seasonal staff during the summer, are expected to stay on the island and not take their holidays at all - just be paid for them when they leave. This is a great way to earn more money but at what cost to your health - to work for seven months without time off. It is a long time since I had to do that. Then again, I have said for the last ten years (to myself at least) that I would love the opportunity to spend the whole summer here - I have to be careful of what I wish for as it seems that I might just get it.

So decisions, decisions, what to do if I am offered this job. For the moment as per usual, there is nothing I can do except wait and see, wait and hope.